Chris Eagles flew in on Shaun Wright-Phillips, so hard he almost broke the hyphen.

Anger infests Lee Bowyer's simple mind. He could get sent off playing solitaire.

Kaka beat Fletcher to the ball, and headed it past Heinze as the Argentine sought to close him down. Heinze could still have dealt with the problem, but, inexplicably, Patrice Evra came flying in like a runaway TGV. Heinze was flattened, Fletcher was so shocked that he stopped to rubber-neck, and Kaka strolled on and rolled the ball past Van der Sar. Evra's nightmare of a half continued when he crazily got himself cautioned for dissent, so removing Ferguson's one remaining first-choice defender from the away leg. Madness.

Crouch, famed for his height, paraded his ability with the ball on the deck by making good ground down the left

You have to go so much because you have things to do and you have to go to work, but some of the pleasure things I was doing like going fishing or going hunting ... I've cut it back to a minimum.

more formations out there than in a ballroom dancing team.